Friday, August 4, 2017

Year 3, Week 1: Results!

Runner Up
Bill Engleson's Lock Step

“Screw tradition. // I want stuff.” I appreciate this attitude from a main character (though perhaps not the whole “stealing from the neighbors and the destitute” part), especially in a world where people are shouting for less thief and scumbag books (they've obviously never read Locke Lamora). The thing that lost me with this story was that there was a lack of conflict; all the action relevant to the story had already happened by the time it started. Good job!

Y3W1 Winner!

Dave Mikulas

with Picks & Rakes

Carrying an entire story through dialogue can be a tough challenge. It certainly worked well for this story, though, as describing the little thieves could have given away the big reveal at the end! I do like the foreshadowing with the “That's not my pick set. They're too small,” line. (I also have “Big Fun” from Heathers' running through my head at the “I need a hit” line, so thanks haha.) This is a cute little piece after the reveal, though I was caught for a moment in thinking the police were onto them. Good job!
Picks & Rakes

“I taught you how to pick locks and this, this is the extent of your skills Jimmy?”

“Shut up Charlie.”

“You’re fumbling like a teenager in the back seat of mom’s Chevy.”

“And what would you know about that?”

“I know enough Jimmy! Now hurry up!”

“Here, you take the rake and do it yourself.”

“That’s not my pick set. They’re too small.”

“Then please, let me be.”

“Hurry up. They’re comin’ back any second.”

“I know.”

“You’ve got to hurry.”

“I know.”

“Any second she could come back and we’re busted.”

“Then be. Quiet. And keep a lookout.”

“You should be done already! What’s the problem?”

“You’re not helping Charlie. Hold the light steady. I can’t see a damn thing.”

“Oh, come on! I need a hit Jimmy!”

“I told you before; you’re welcome to take over.”

“Don’t stop you’ve almost got it! Keep going! Keep going!”

“I’m working as fast as I can but I’ve got someone squawking at me every. Three. Seconds. Now zip it and let me work.”

“Are you in yet?”

“Wow. You lasted exactly two seconds. A personal record Charlie. Let me work.”

“Okay. Okay.”


“About time. Grab ‘em and go! Go! Go! Go!”


“Crap. Busted.”


“It was all Jimmy’s idea!”

“My idea?!? My idea! You’re the one that knew where she kept the goods!”


“Yes mom.”

“Yes mom.”

“Drop the candy. All of it Charles.”

“Yes mom.”

“I teach you two how to pick locks and this is how you use that skill?

“Bravo boys. But next time…wait until I go to bed.”

1 comment:

  1. Thank you! I appreciate the challenge and the feedback!